Who wants to know?

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In May on a flight to Pakistan, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In November I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In January I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Tuesday I helped flippingthecoin hide a body (-173 points). Last Monday I bought porn for delilah_girls (10 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-260 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, run-you-fool

So I still did everything you said, but I also gave change to a homeless guy! ;P

What did you do this year, Greg?

IM conversation between 1eye@freelanthropy.com and missingsparkls@gmail.com

 

1eye: ;)

missingsparkls: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?

1eye: I asked Helen. But that account wasn’t active anymore.

missingsparkls: That doesn’t answer my question

1eye: Hacked your account. I just wanted you to know I knew you changed it.

1eye: ;P

missingsparkls: ...
1eye: ;) ;) ;)
missingsparkls: I’m blocking you.
missingsparkls - STATUS: INVISIBLE

 

Email sent from 1eye@freelanthropy.com to missingsparkls@gmail.com:

 

Sucks how gmail only lets you block people on chat, doesn’t it?
 

(I changed my email, too. After Isa and I broke up.)

Unsent email written by missingsparkls@gmail.com:

I wouldn't know. I didn't block you.

For future references, if I lived anywhere near your state, I would find you and pester you into coming out for ice cream or something dumb and helpful like that.

As it so happens, I'm in Texas. It would be very difficult to get all the way up there without a car or a plane.

So pretty much my only way of helping you is the internet.

That said, would you please talk about whatever the fuck is going on?

Ugh. I've always thought smoking was dumb--sure, everyone is entitled to kill themselves however they want, but why would you choose a way that SMELLS SO BAD? And now I shudder every time I see a cigarette. It's gotten better lately (the shuddering thing. The dumb and smelly will not change.)

I worried that seeing Isa when the way he looking so trapped would give Ally nightmares. It hasn’t, but she insists on checking every inch of the house before she sleeps, as if there are monsters hiding in the pantry or behind the bookshelves. She makes Jeff look, too, and makes Toby sniff around. She also refuses to sleep unless she knows someone’s with Isa. It’s making work difficult, since her bedtime is eight. Several times, she’s slept in our bed while I worked, and piled stuffed animals around him. Protecting him, she says.

 

The fact that she thinks my being with him would be any protection is just a reminder that she’s too innocent for anything that’s happened.

 

I wouldn’t even want to go to the room, in case I woke her. So I’ve been coming to bed much earlier--I brought my work a few times, but Isa isn’t exactly fond of that. Jeff offered to stay in the room with Isa at night until I came, but Isa doesn’t want to keep him awake. Honestly, I think Jeff would sleep on the floor like a guard dog if it made Ally a little happier, or Isa a little safer.

 

We all agreed to try to make this have as little effect on Isa as possible; Jeff says he’s already gotten it into his head that it’s his fault she’s scared. I wish he’d tell me about it, but no, I find out from Jeff or I don’t know at all. But the fact that he keeps telling Ally not to let Isa know they’re searching the house is ridiculous.

 

He probably knows anyway.
 

I don't know what's going on, but I get the feeling the happy sparkly thing is fake. You want to tell me what Helen's entry was about?

 

( Clearly, no one understood the familial bonds of friendship more than small children. )

[The dial tone rang four times before a voice answered, “yes?”

 

It was a male voice, but Jeff knew, without ever having heard him speak, that it wasn’t Brian. It was younger than he imagined Brian, and there was no softness to it. No caring. But he asked, nevertheless, “Brian?”

 

The boy on the other end drew in breath sharply. “Who is this?” he snapped.

 

Definitely not Brian. “Is your name Taylor, by any chance?”

 

“Yes. Now who the Hell is this?”

 

Jeff briefly considered what answer would make the boy on the other line angriest, but exhaustion and sadness had worn down his imagination. “I want to sleep with Brian’s girlfriend,” he said flatly. “Is she out of the hospital yet?”

 

There was a loud curse, followed by the sound of something hitting something. He listened for a few more seconds before realizing Taylor had thrown the phone. “Could have at least hung up,” he muttered.

 

Though he hadn’t gotten to speak to Natana, he felt slightly better.]

 

( Jeff almost screamed. )

And two of them involve Jeff.

It's all his fault, too. Honestly, he's like a puppy when he's around Isa. The way he used to treat Isa was the reason I hated him in the first place, but now he's...I honestly can't even picture him not hanging on Isa's arm without big sad puppy eyes being involved.

And then there's how he is with Ally. You know, Isa took care of a boy named Nathanial and Jeff barely spoke to him, but he can spend hours playing with her. He doesn't even seem to get tired.

I never have time to play with her. She can entertain herself--she has Toby and now Ishmael and a mountain of stuffed animal and one doll, a baby that she named Little Monster, and she jumps rope and plays hopscotch and she has a lot of little friends she can play with--but she wants to play with the family, and...I won't let myself be too busy to swing with her, and I'll always do my work at the park instead of the house if she wants to go, but that's not the same as taking two hours to play hide-and-seek and hot-and-cold and all the other games she likes. And recently she's started wanting to play stuffed animals with other people, though she's very nervous about letting people touch Little Monster.

I still remember the first time I came home to find Isa boiling pasta and Ally showing Jeff some of Toby's tricks. She didn't even know who they were. I've told her that if strangers break into the house, she should turn invisible, sneak out, and have one of our neighbors call the police. She can recite those instructions like the ABC's, but following them is a whole different story. It used to scare the shit out of me, but now I know she's safe all the time.

There are people who can raise children all by themselves, even on minimum wage--they just work minimum wage jobs. I knew a painter whose wife left him, and he was a great dad. If there's one thing Jeff and Isa have taught me, it's that I should not be raising children on my own. I don't know how I've managed this long. Even food--I want her to have healthy, natural food, but I can't cook a thing.

It's actually ridiculous how helpful they are. Ally's always been messy with her clothes, but Isa's shown her how to fold. Now she's so proud of knowing how to do it. She wants to fold everyone's clothes. And then Isa refolds them when she isn't looking, except Jeff's. He doesn't care how wrinkled his clothes are.

We were playing Monopoly last night and Ally stood up and said, "we have the best family ever."

She may have the best dad ever, but when you throw in me and Jeff, there are so many reasons that shouldn't be true I could write a novel on it.

But I guess it is true, isn't it?

...I can't believe I'm part of a family that includes Jeff.

What's coming out?

There were some kids at the park today who played catch with me. It was fun. I love playing catch. We didn't get to do it on the trip because Uncle can't catch and keeps throwing it in the wrong place (I think it's cause he only has one good eye), and Apa doesn't throw hard enough. I can throw things for Toby to get but he doesn't really catch, he just smells for it after it falls. Plus he can't throw at me cause he doesn't have hands.

I'm happy I'm back because I missed Mommy and Ishmael, but the trip was fun. It would've been funner if Apa and Uncle were still kissing, I think. It was really nice seeing Natana. She looked hurt, though, and she wouldn let Apa use his powers. It's good cause that would hurt Apa, but what if Natana's doesn go away?

YES. It is completely fucking unfair to transfer your own religious beliefs onto everyone else, and creating laws with a religious basis essentially does that. If there is a single country in the world where everyone has the exact same religion, they're either forcing everyone to believe in it or driving out everybody who won't, because there is just no way everyone is going to agree.

The only laws that should have any sort of religious aspect are laws forbidding religious discrimination, defacing of holy sites, and forcing people to do things their religion dictates against (assuming that in itself isn't discrimination; for example, if someone refuses to insemenate gay couples, he should try a different career.)

 

( Two minutes later, the door to a small private room in the emergency ward swung open. )

Ishmael sleeps a lot. He gets on high places so Toby won't try to bite him. Uncle says Ishmael and Toby are gonna be best friends. I hope it's soon.

Apa is thinking about things. I don know what things, but he's being quiet. He isn't kissing Mommy or Uncle. I don't think he's happy. :(

Uncle and Mommy say it isn't because of the men hurting him, but I bet that made him sad. I don know why people want to hurt Apa. Uncle says it's not gonna happen again, but sometimes Uncle says things to make me happy and maybe they aren't true.

Rita and Jeff being so kind is putting me in one of the most difficult positions I've ever been in.

It's a kitty!

Apa brought home a kitty. But it's black with gold eyes, not like this picture. I like it, though.

I think someone hurt the kitty. He's shy. And he gets scared. Toby likes him, but then he purred and Toby thought he growled so now Toby doesn't like him. :( Uncle says Toby will change his mind.

I'm happy Apa's back. He looked so bad. I start crying when I think about it.  Apa says not to cry. Uncle gets angry and says it's never happening again, but he's not angry at me. He's angry at the people who hurt Apa. I try not to cry because I want Apa to be happy, but it's hard.

He was really happy when he found him. He and Uncle kissed, even though they said they weren't going to do that anymore. And then he looked kind of weird but Mommy hugged him.

Uncle's friends were there, too. They helped. It was nice. Thank you for helping. :)

Uncle said we should put up pictures of ourselves because we weren't hiding anymore, but Apa doesn't like his picture taken and it hurts Uncle's eyes and Mommy said I'm too little to have my picture on the internet, so we only put Mommy and then actors who kinda look like Uncle and Apa.

Jack, Judith, Alice, Claire, Finn--

Sorry I couldn't say bye, but just typing this is a waste of time, so. Bye.

SHITSHITSHIT.

They're dead. When I get my hands on them, they're fucking dead.

Come back.

Right now.

Or better yet, tell me where to go and GET YOUR ASS THERE RIGHT NOW.

Hey Cookie,

 

How’re you doing? Have Mommy and Apa started making out on the couch, or did they decide it wasn’t public enough?

 

Toby loves everybody here, especially Finn. You should have seen Lilly and Lissie and Joe and Jack (how do you not have a nickname for Jack?) when they found him. I swear I heard squeals.

 

Judith is a really good singer. Ask Mommy and Apa if they remember the time we were at a restaurant and a woman was singing But for some reason she almost never sings. She rejected Toby's eyes and everything. It's truly disgusting. You should make sad faces until she changes her mind. Or is that below the belt?

Anyway, I hope you're doing well. Internet hugs! And give Apa a real hug for me.

- Uncle

[Locked from Isa and Ally]
Rita,

Hey there. Is Isa ok? I assume he is, given that he has you and Ally, but what kind of pathetic obsessor would I be if I didn't check? Also, are you still not sure what food he likes? Because I can make a list or something. You already have fruit in the fridge all the time, but keep some nuts in the pantry, and offer them to him a few times. He likes walnuts and pistachios best.

Am I doing it again? I probably am. Damn it, I should stop typing.And yes, I'm assuming everything else either you know as well as I do, or better.

You better be nice to him.

- Jeff
[/locked from Isa and Ally]