1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Then make them answer the following questions
Rita is a workaholic stress-case who happens to have some compassion to her. Book Three Rita is still a workaholic stress case, but now she’s a Mommy and she doesn’t drink (Book One Rita borders on alcoholic.)
Jeff is an overly talkative cop and a bit of an asshole, albeit an outgoing and cheerful asshole. Book Three Jeff is overly talkative, outgoing, and cheerful, but he’s less of an asshole (still annoying as all fuck) and he now has one working eye.
Isa’s life has been shit. And he’s deathly lonely. That’s really all you need to know. Book Three Isa is just as compassionate and has had just as bad a life, but he has Jeff chattering to him constantly so the loneliness is cured.
Natana is sexy sex, but her body is not equipped for actual sex. She is, however, a great dancer.
Greg is bright and cheerful and loyal as a puppy, and to top it all off he is gloriously batshit.
How Old Are You?
Book One Rita: Early thirties
Book Three Rita: Nearly forty
Book One Jeff: Twenty-one, got a problem with that?
Book Three Jeff: Twenty-seven
Book One Isa: I am not certain…(As of 2008 he's twenty-four, but his age is based on actual events, so in 2009 he'd be twenty-five, in 2010 twenty-six, and so on. If the book ever gets published, it probably won't be until 2010 or even 2011, and that works for me because he's supposed to be closer to Rita's age than Jeff's.)
Book Three Isa: I don’t really know. Thirty? (Author says: thirty-one, but see above disclaimer. And as for why he aged seven years while Jeff aged six, Isa’s twenty-fifth birthday was in the second book.)
Natana: Nineteen. Been legal for over a year.
Greg: Eighteen
Height
Rita: 5’11”
Jeff: 5’7”, but I WILL RISE
Isa: I’ve never actually measured (5’9”-ish. He’d be six feet if he had been nourished properly.)
Natana: Six feet. *Smile*
Greg: Tall
You got any bad habits?
Rita: No. (She’s overworked. And in book one, she drinks too much coffee and lacks the patience to warm up food.)
Jeff: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would I have any bad habits? I mean, really. I’m not particularly sarcastic and I certainly don’t talk too much, in fact I consider myself rather quiet, don’t you?
Isa: I’ve never really had the opportunity to develop bad habits perse
Natana: I think about sex all the time. I’m not even kidding. And I break into dance or a run at random intervals, and always feel like touching people, and drape myself over people instead of sitting on chairs. Luckily, those are all very good habits.
Greg: Do I?
You a virgin?
Book One Rita: That’s none of your goddamn business
Book Three Rita: Oh, definitely. Ally came on a stork. (Ally=her daughter. Virgin=fuck no.)
Book One Jeff: *Smirk* Are you coming on to me?
Book Three Jeff: *Smirk* Are you coming on to me?
Book One Isa: What sort of question is that? I am, but it is hardly any of your concern.
Book Three Isa: No. What sort of question is that?
Natana: Only because I can’t have sex. *Grumble*
Greg: *Shyly* Uh-huh
Who's your Mate/Spouse?
Book One Rita: Like I have time for that.
Book Three Rita: None at the moment. *Glances at Isa*
Book One Jeff: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Book Three Jeff: *Grins big and hugs Isa, who stares at him like he’s nuts*
Book One Isa: None
Book Three Isa: Well, at the moment I’m not—Jeff, get off of me
Natana: None right now. Someday. Soon, maybe.
Greg: Just good friends right now.
Have any kids?
Book One Rita: *Glare* No
Book Three Rita: Yes. *Fond smile at Ally*
Book One Jeff: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Book Three Jeff: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Book One Isa: *Wistful* None of my own.
Book Three Isa: *Looks uncomfortable* Well, yes. She’s a charming girl, but—
Book Three Jeff: He won’t tell her he’s her father because apparently he’s ASHAMED. It’s sickening.
Book Three Isa: I also have Jeff. Surely he counts.
Natana: Can’t.
Greg: Nope.
Favorite Food?
Book One Rita: Pad thai
Book Two Rita: Dark chocolate
Book One Jeff: MEAT
Book Three Jeff: MEAT. Also, that pizza Isa makes without cheese.
Isa: It is not pizza.
Jeff: IT COUNTS
Book One Isa: I’m rather fond of dark chocolate, though I can’t really have it. I enjoy most foods.
Book Three Isa: *Longingly names some Kurdish dish, then adds that he enjoys most foods*
Natana: Biryani! And kukra no sak! And chicken tacos! And masala macchi!
Greg: Chinese food. Especially with chicken.
Favorite Ice Cream flavor?
Book One Rita: Why are you wasting my time with questions about ice cream?
Book Three Rita: My daughter’s favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip. We usually share, since she’s too young for much, even if it’s a kid’s scoop.
Jeff: Ugh, ice cream. I’m getting a toothache just thinking about it.
Isa: I’ve never had ice cream, actually.
Natana: Pistachio kulfi with cardamom.
Greg: I like a lot of flavors. Especially if there’s caramel.
Killed anyone?
Book One Rita: *Revolted look* No
Book Three Rita: No, but I’ve tried
Book One Jeff: Nope. Surprised, aren’t you?
Book Three Jeff: Unfortunately, I haven’t managed
Book One Isa: Never
Book One Jeff: Liar
Book One Isa: It’s true. I wouldn’t…
Book Three Isa: *Pained expression* I didn’t mean to…I didn’t realize…
Natana: I wish.
Greg: No, but people think I did.
Hate anyone?
Book One Rita: People who ask stupid questions like this. And that cop.
Book Three Rita: Those fucking agents making Isa’s life miserable. As if he doesn’t have enough misery.
Book One Jeff: Terrorists. *Glares at Isa*
Book Three Jeff: I’m with Rita on this.
Book One Isa: No
Book Three Isa: No
Natana: Homophobes piss me off. And racists. Bigots in general.
Greg: *Growl* My dad
Any secrets?
Book One Rita: Fuck off.
Book Three Rita: Most people don’t know who Ally’s dad is.
Book One Jeff: *Sweet smile*
Book Three Jeff: Not really. My identity and stuff, but some people know.
Book One Isa: Some.
Book Three Isa: Ally does not know I am her father.
Love anyone?
Book One Rita: No
Book Three Rita: Of course I love Ally
Book Three Jeff: And Isa
Book Three Rita: Shut up
Book One Jeff: MEAT MEAT MEAT
Book Three Jeff: Isa
Book Three Isa: *Rolls eyes*
Book Three Jeff: And Ally. She’s such a little cutie.
Book One Isa: Lots of people. My Brothers and Nathanial and Jeff’s dog and a few others.
Book One Jeff: Like your fellow TERRORISTS? Oh, wait, those are your ‘Brothers.’
Book Three Isa: Well, I love Ally, of course. And Jeff and Rita, I suppose. And Toby and Ishmael. And I still love all the people I’ve been separated from, or who have died.
Natana: Daddy
Greg: My sister and my friends
What is your job?
Book One Rita: Executive of Finance Management
Book Three Rita: I was a journalist. I’m on a leave of absence from the actual journalist job, but I’m owner and manager of the city newspaper, and Chief Editor of the state’s main newspaper.
Book One Jeff: Cop
Book Three Jeff: Not a dime or a job to my name
Book One Isa: I can’t have a job in this country. I used to build houses, and I’m a healer, but I never did either for money
Book Three Isa: I’ve been a firefighter and I’ve worked at some restaurants. Right now I’m taking care of Nikki.
Natana: I get paid for dancing. Not much, but what college student gets paid much?
Greg: None
Boy or girl?
Rita: Woman
Jeff: Slime. And boy.
Isa: Man
Natana: Funny story…
Greg: Boy
What do you do to relax?
Book One Rita: I don’t need to relax! I do drink sometimes, to help myself sleep, but relaxing is a waste of time
Book Three Rita: *Shrug* I swing sometimes
Book One Jeff: Are you kidding? My life is so relaxing. I get to shoot things and eat at a diner
Book Three Jeff: Annoy Rita ^_*
Book One Isa: I walk most days. I used to help garden.
Book Three Isa: Play piano or play with Nikki, or listen to Jeff chatter.
Natana: Dance. Run. I have other things in mind, most days.
Greg: No stress here! *g*
What song do you think would best describe yourself?
Rita: This is the stupidest question in the world
Jeff: I’ve always been partial to Play That Funky Music, White Boy
Isa: I don’t believe I know many songs in your language.
Natana: Sexy sexy sexy
Greg: I’m too crazy to fit songs
Any hidden talents or something no one else knows about you?
Rita: Talent. What bullshit. Either you work hard or you’ve got nothing.
Jeff: I think everyone knows how well I can shoot.
Isa: A few.
Natana: People know. *Wink* Oh, but I can transport people, and me, when I dance. Most people don’t know that part.
Greg: I can talk to spirits. I used to be able to see them.
What color is your hair?
Book One Rita: Dark blonde
Book Three Rita: Dyed black
Book One Jeff: Plain ole brown! =D
Book Three Jeff: *Grumble* Dyed blonde *grumble* I MISS MY HAIR, DAMN IT.
Isa: Black
Natana: Dark brown. It looks black.
What's your sexual orientation?
Rita: Straight.
Jeff: NO SUCH THING.
Isa: I prefer women…I haven’t had many (Book One: any) relationships, though.
Natana: Just boys for me, or maybe other hermaphrodites, but I’ve never actually met one.
Greg: I like everybody.
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discontent
Dear Santa...
bored
stressed
creative
mischievous
TOTALLY NUTS