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Ladies, Gentlemen, Hermaphrodites, and the world at large


HA.

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Shut up.
*Runs around, crowing at the top of lungs*
Telling the whole world now, are you?
Oh, I'm alerting the local newspaper as we speak.
I own the local newspaper.
Yeah, by the way? Happy early Valentine's Day, R.
I realize you're trying to get killed, but since you're probably the reason Jeff decided to go on a road trip, I'm not killing you.
R? You think too highly of me, but I'm really having fun with it, so don't bother stopping.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What I mean is that the apparent fact that you think he'd go on a road trip because of me and not to flee your wrath? Very flattering. And giving the true terror your wrath inspires the short shrift.
You idiot. Jeff doesn't flee wrath; he revels in it.
Rita thinks highly of you? This is the best weirdest day ever. I love it.
I DON'T.
And yet, you capitalize.

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