Who wants to know?

What? <.< I didn't write that title. >.>

Anyway, welcome to a peaceful sparkly den of--

Aw, screw it. This, my friends, is an asylum for all my pretty pretty babies, and also my plain-looking babies, and my unnattractive ones, and my plain but utterly sexy ones, and my adorably adorable ones. Each and every one of them is either absolutely nuts or was nuts enough to let themselves be dragged in here by someone absolutely nuts. And, much as I'd like to write the post title off as a joke, most of them are pretty tortured.

Sane version:

Hello, this livejournal is run by grammarshark (moi). It's for my original characters from various stories. Said stories and characters are (story titles in italics):

One Last Star
The icons for these folk have changed quite a bit, because they've been lucky/cursed enough to have a plotline within the journal, and I change their icons when cataclysmic things happen. But as far as the names go:
Isa (fake name: ...he has a lot of them)
Jeff Tobias (fake name: Zach Avery)
Rita Hason (fake name: Rita Halim)
Ally Halim (legal name: Allison Hason)

The Most Beautiful Thing
Greg Simons - icon: freaky green eyelike thing [he has the power to see stuff, plus he's probably the nuttiest one here in the traditional "take your meds and go to the Quiet Room" sense]
Helen Simons - icon: paint palette with painting on it [she is a painter]
Shen - icon: rapini [he cooks, and he tends to use ingredients like rapini which are fairly elegant but considered an "acquired taste"]

Half-Everything
Natana Nirali - icon: hot Indian midriff [sex pours from her every pore and she's not afraid to flaunt it]
Brian Gibbs - icon: "can't we all just get along?" plea to members of various religions [he really just wants everybody to get along]

I will probably post character profiles sometime or another, but it may take a while because, well, thats nine people, and more will doubtless come. Also, on the off chance that these get published and there have been lurkers who actually enjoyed the strange hodgepodge of stuff enough to read the books, it should be noted that the characters as they are here are not the same as in the book. In the case of the One Last Star kids, it's particularly true, because all of them are late in the third book (One Last Star ends up a trilogy.) Also, sorry to dissappoint everyone, but there is no scene in the book in which Rita finds Jeff and Isa making out on her bed. (Or is there?)

Also, please recall that all characters are copyrighted (um, not officially, but it would still be mean to steal them!)

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In October I pulled falindsovsor's hair (-5 points). In August I put money in captain_catfish's expired parking meter (14 points). Last Sunday I pulled over and changed geneticrebel's flat tire (15 points). In June I gave perber a Dutch Oven (-10 points). In July I gave grammarshark a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Overall, I've been nice (64 points). For Christmas I deserve a Sony Playstation 3! Sincerely, run-you-fool

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In May on a flight to Pakistan, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In November I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In January I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Tuesday I helped flippingthecoin hide a body (-173 points). Last Monday I bought porn for delilah_girls (10 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-260 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, run-you-fool

So I still did everything you said, but I also gave change to a homeless guy! ;P

What did you do this year, Greg?

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I bought porn for talkaboutclass (-10 points). Last Thursday I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In January I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). Last Monday I helped perber hide a body (-173 points). In May I gave hellseffingyeah a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-208 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, run-you-fool

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Let me guess, Isa was the life-saving blood tranfusion, Jeff was the shoot-out, and the body-hider, and the porn-buyer. And I don't know who ate their Brussels Sprouts.

So, basically, we can all blame Jeff for the lousy Christmas present.

IM conversation between 1eye@freelanthropy.com and missingsparkls@gmail.com

 

1eye: ;)

missingsparkls: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?

1eye: I asked Helen. But that account wasn’t active anymore.

missingsparkls: That doesn’t answer my question

1eye: Hacked your account. I just wanted you to know I knew you changed it.

1eye: ;P

missingsparkls: ...
1eye: ;) ;) ;)
missingsparkls: I’m blocking you.
missingsparkls - STATUS: INVISIBLE

 

Email sent from 1eye@freelanthropy.com to missingsparkls@gmail.com:

 

Sucks how gmail only lets you block people on chat, doesn’t it?
 

(I changed my email, too. After Isa and I broke up.)

Unsent email written by missingsparkls@gmail.com:

I wouldn't know. I didn't block you.

You hacked this, didn't you, you jerk?

Look, I'm fine. And even if I wasn't, like you said, you're in Texas. You think a few comments will be enough? It won't.

Please leave me alone. You don't know me anyway.

For future references, if I lived anywhere near your state, I would find you and pester you into coming out for ice cream or something dumb and helpful like that.

As it so happens, I'm in Texas. It would be very difficult to get all the way up there without a car or a plane.

So pretty much my only way of helping you is the internet.

That said, would you please talk about whatever the fuck is going on?

So, what's been going on? Any updates? New friends? Jeff and Isa back together yet?

Ugh. I've always thought smoking was dumb--sure, everyone is entitled to kill themselves however they want, but why would you choose a way that SMELLS SO BAD? And now I shudder every time I see a cigarette. It's gotten better lately (the shuddering thing. The dumb and smelly will not change.)

I can't sleep.

I worried that seeing Isa when the way he looking so trapped would give Ally nightmares. It hasn’t, but she insists on checking every inch of the house before she sleeps, as if there are monsters hiding in the pantry or behind the bookshelves. She makes Jeff look, too, and makes Toby sniff around. She also refuses to sleep unless she knows someone’s with Isa. It’s making work difficult, since her bedtime is eight. Several times, she’s slept in our bed while I worked, and piled stuffed animals around him. Protecting him, she says.

 

The fact that she thinks my being with him would be any protection is just a reminder that she’s too innocent for anything that’s happened.

 

I wouldn’t even want to go to the room, in case I woke her. So I’ve been coming to bed much earlier--I brought my work a few times, but Isa isn’t exactly fond of that. Jeff offered to stay in the room with Isa at night until I came, but Isa doesn’t want to keep him awake. Honestly, I think Jeff would sleep on the floor like a guard dog if it made Ally a little happier, or Isa a little safer.

 

We all agreed to try to make this have as little effect on Isa as possible; Jeff says he’s already gotten it into his head that it’s his fault she’s scared. I wish he’d tell me about it, but no, I find out from Jeff or I don’t know at all. But the fact that he keeps telling Ally not to let Isa know they’re searching the house is ridiculous.

 

He probably knows anyway.
 

I don't know what's going on, but I get the feeling the happy sparkly thing is fake. You want to tell me what Helen's entry was about?

I'm sorry. I really am. And I hadn't meant to.

Please talk to me.

 

( Clearly, no one understood the familial bonds of friendship more than small children. )

[The dial tone rang four times before a voice answered, “yes?”

 

It was a male voice, but Jeff knew, without ever having heard him speak, that it wasn’t Brian. It was younger than he imagined Brian, and there was no softness to it. No caring. But he asked, nevertheless, “Brian?”

 

The boy on the other end drew in breath sharply. “Who is this?” he snapped.

 

Definitely not Brian. “Is your name Taylor, by any chance?”

 

“Yes. Now who the Hell is this?”

 

Jeff briefly considered what answer would make the boy on the other line angriest, but exhaustion and sadness had worn down his imagination. “I want to sleep with Brian’s girlfriend,” he said flatly. “Is she out of the hospital yet?”

 

There was a loud curse, followed by the sound of something hitting something. He listened for a few more seconds before realizing Taylor had thrown the phone. “Could have at least hung up,” he muttered.

 

Though he hadn’t gotten to speak to Natana, he felt slightly better.]

 

( Jeff almost screamed. )

And two of them involve Jeff.

It's all his fault, too. Honestly, he's like a puppy when he's around Isa. The way he used to treat Isa was the reason I hated him in the first place, but now he's...I honestly can't even picture him not hanging on Isa's arm without big sad puppy eyes being involved.

And then there's how he is with Ally. You know, Isa took care of a boy named Nathanial and Jeff barely spoke to him, but he can spend hours playing with her. He doesn't even seem to get tired.

I never have time to play with her. She can entertain herself--she has Toby and now Ishmael and a mountain of stuffed animal and one doll, a baby that she named Little Monster, and she jumps rope and plays hopscotch and she has a lot of little friends she can play with--but she wants to play with the family, and...I won't let myself be too busy to swing with her, and I'll always do my work at the park instead of the house if she wants to go, but that's not the same as taking two hours to play hide-and-seek and hot-and-cold and all the other games she likes. And recently she's started wanting to play stuffed animals with other people, though she's very nervous about letting people touch Little Monster.

I still remember the first time I came home to find Isa boiling pasta and Ally showing Jeff some of Toby's tricks. She didn't even know who they were. I've told her that if strangers break into the house, she should turn invisible, sneak out, and have one of our neighbors call the police. She can recite those instructions like the ABC's, but following them is a whole different story. It used to scare the shit out of me, but now I know she's safe all the time.

There are people who can raise children all by themselves, even on minimum wage--they just work minimum wage jobs. I knew a painter whose wife left him, and he was a great dad. If there's one thing Jeff and Isa have taught me, it's that I should not be raising children on my own. I don't know how I've managed this long. Even food--I want her to have healthy, natural food, but I can't cook a thing.

It's actually ridiculous how helpful they are. Ally's always been messy with her clothes, but Isa's shown her how to fold. Now she's so proud of knowing how to do it. She wants to fold everyone's clothes. And then Isa refolds them when she isn't looking, except Jeff's. He doesn't care how wrinkled his clothes are.

We were playing Monopoly last night and Ally stood up and said, "we have the best family ever."

She may have the best dad ever, but when you throw in me and Jeff, there are so many reasons that shouldn't be true I could write a novel on it.

But I guess it is true, isn't it?

...I can't believe I'm part of a family that includes Jeff.

What's coming out?

I know I haven't posted in a while. I've been...busy. I'll be going away for a while soon--I don't know when, but it should be soon--but maybe from there I'll be able to post way more. Or not.

Why is this so hard?

Forget it, I can't post this.